June Is My Month of Courage

Life. It sure has it's ups and down. And sometimes its downs are really down. But somehow, no matter how low I get, I am able to rise above it and function on a pretty high level. It's really tough, but I do it day after day after day. 

I told one of my therapists the other day that I wish I could stand on top of a mountain and yell so the whole world could hear me.....I AM DOING IT! I HAVE NEVER GIVEN UP! I KEEP PUTTING FORTH EFFORT EVERY SINGLE DAY. I AM TRYING AND WORKING AND BECOMING A BETTER PERSON. QUIT JUDGING ME. I AM DIFFERENT THAN I USED TO BE BUT IT IS GOOD. I AM A BETTER HUMAN BEING AND STRONGER AND KINDER AND HONEST AND MORE COMPASSIONATE. 

Oh, how I wish I could say all those things to the people that have turned their backs on me.

But it really doesn't matter because I know I am a better person than I have ever been. So despite the difficult month of June (grandmother passing, end of school year and having to say goodbye to my students, financial worries, depression, addiction, lack of sleep, etc) I have continued to live and move forward. I have been clean all month and I feel hopeful for my continued recovery.

I love this quote by President Monson.  He said, "Courage is required to make an initial thrust toward one’s coveted goal, but even greater courage is called for when one stumbles and must make a second effort to achieve. Have the determination to make the effort, the single-mindedness to work toward a worthy goal, and the courage not only to face the challenges that inevitably come but also to make a second effort, should such be required. “Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying, ‘I will try again tomorrow.’" (Living the Abundant Life)

COURAGE is my favorite word. I love quotes about courage. I feel I live my life with courage every single day. No one knows the amount of courage it takes me to live each day. God knows though and that is what matters. He knows the amount of courage it takes for me to take one step, two steps and sometimes thousands of steps a day to live a life worth living. Thank goodness for second and third and endless chances and the opportunity to make that extra effort.

I know this week and this month has taken a greater amount of courage for me in all areas of my life. And I feel good knowing that I lived this week with courage and that I am being blessed because of my efforts and because I have not given up. I am so blessed that God has not given up on me and that I have special people in my life who have not given up either. I know they believe in me and love me unconditionally.